For me, nothing brings out my 'born yesterday' idiotic qualities quite like having my photograph taken.

Our brains are like bonsai trees, growing around our private versions of reality.

Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who know where their high school yearbook is and those who do not.

If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land, you can't afford to be with them.

Unless you are a professional, you will find the tart to be a high-maintenance, unforgiving whistle-blower of a pastry.

I would gladly have accepted a heaping spoonful of nepotism when I got out of college and was looking for a job.

Book tours are such a little tapas meal of where I could live.

No affair that begins with such an orchestrated overture can end on a simple note.

Uniqueness is wasted on youth. Like fine wine or a solid flossing habit, you'll be grateful for it when you're older.

I like to try to do a little work before I do anything in the morning, even if it's a paragraph.

Please, Mr. Engineer let a man ride the linePlease, Mr. Engineer let a man ride the lineI ain't got no ticket please let me ride the blinds

I don't know if I've ever been in a clique. The older I've gotten, the more I've realized what a true friend really is. So my friendship circle has changed a bit.

When I wasn't killing time in school, I was sparring in the gym or selling crack on the strip.

I've done coke 'til my nose was bleeding like the fourth week of Lilith Fair.

Let's not pretend that mental phenomena can be mapped on to the characteristics of billiard balls.

All you need to know about Donald Trump is he loves his family and he loves this country. And he's going to be a great president of the United States.

Y'all were heroes from the beginning. You just didn't 'turn' all of a sudden

It's about risking everything. Putting your heart on the line, even when you don't know what's going to happen. It's risking having the person you love rip it out and stomp all over it in public.

With or without the Royals, we are not Americans. Nor are we British. Or French. Or Void. We are something else. And the sooner we define this, the better.

Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.