For me, why would a Jew want to go anywhere in history ever? I'm only going to have to run.

You ever spent eight hours acting in water? It's a lot easier to get in and out of a bath. Hot tubs are bad news for actors, man.

I love Billy Joel. I cry sometimes when I hear 'The Stranger.' 'You May Be Right' may be one of the greatest songs ever written.

At around 19 I realized that I really didn't have any skills other than making people laugh, so I should probably pursue it full-time.

There's a common misconception with sketch comedy that you just go up there and wing it, but it's written, and there really is order.

I am what they call a chubby-skinny guy. I appear to be normal and have the look of an in-shape man, but if we were to go to a pool party I would go with my shirt on.

I think journalism can come from anywhere, and comedy can certainly come from anywhere.

Well, you can't improvise story, which is a fact. If you could, the budget would be insane.

The only place I want to travel to is the United States Of America from 2008 to 2016. Anywhere else is a horribly dangerous time for women and minorities.

I love Obama. He's my favorite president of all time. I have a giant picture in my apartment in New York that is of his Chicago Tribune cover, Mr. President.

America is never great. America is great in what it can be, which is the American dream.

By that which you kill are you bound.

When we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away...

If you haven't fall in love yet...you haven't experienced true pain and happiness.

Draw the attention of those who do things out of spite, to something else, away from what you wish to avoid.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Townes Van Zandt is the best songwriter in the whole world, and I'll stand on Bob Dylan's coffee table in my cowboy boots and say that.

Acting is like going to the gym. You have to keep yourself in shape and concentrate on your core.

There is nothing better to display the truth in an excellent light, than a clear and simple statement of facts.

Embracing the torture, as I'm assaulted by my own thoughts. Like a locust giving birth to earworms. Eeeeew!

As the rising sun melts thinly frozen ice, so the Japanese Army is overcoming Chinese troops.