For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

Who made you Queen of Literacy? Go sit in your car!

The fairies, as their custom, clapped their hands with delight over their cleverness, and they were so madly in love with the little house that they could not bear to think they had finished it.

Reach out to help others when they need it

The creation of a painting takes as much trickery and premeditation as the commitment of a crime.

I grew up in Southern California so I was always at the beach and outdoors. I remember my dad laying around the pool baking; he was practically George Hamilton.

One does not succeed by sticking to convention. When your opponent can easily anticipate every move you make, your strategy deteriorates and becomes commoditized.

Modern capitalism benefited the masses in a double way - both by greatly increasing the wages of the masses of workers and greatly reducing the real prices they had to pay for what was produced.

I found it extremely annoying when somebody would say something like "You seem to be influenced by Ken Nordine." And I didn't even know who Ken Nordine was.

You have to make the good out of the bad because that is all you have got to make it out of.

Investment success accrues not so much to the brilliant as to the disciplined.