For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

That is what's meant by being afraid of the future, by showing how brilliant you come out of it.

They are strong wives, devoted moms, and beautiful women, trying to find a way to earn and keep their wings because God knows, it's not easy being married to the military.

The theatre was created to tell people the truth about life and the social situation.

We do say no to a lot, but we also say yes; I find ways of coming to peace with certain things. Sometimes a writer or actor will reach out and make it very personal.

So often people tell me: you got me through this, you've really helped me. And I never realized that part of what I do is that I give people hope.

There is not one thing that music does which does not say something about how a person should organize himself, too.

Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing.

My legacy is in my family, not in my work. For me. I don't know about for other people. I try to forget a lot.

The Real Beloved is that one who is Unique, who is your Beginning and your End.

But I like it Because it is bitter, And because it is my heart.