For my scale, how I grew up and live my life, I'm making plenty of money.

When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

The greatest thing about having a child is putting yourself second in your own life. It's a massive gift to be able to say you're not the most important person to yourself.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...

My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy

What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

The task of modern man is not to find his inner self, but to create himself.

Man, if you have to ask what it [jazz] is, you’ll never know.

Forgiveness is a choice. You control how you respond to something or someone. You can't change things that happened in the past, but you can decide how you let them affect you.

I'm one of the best-loved psychologists in the United States, but I'm also probably the most hated one.

Our first goal is to stop the recession and start with recovery.

I plan on staying at Alabama for the rest of my career. I guarantee that I'll be here for you through it all, regardless of what happens.

Neuroscience has proven that similar areas of the brain are activated both in the person who suffers and in the one who feels empathy. Thus empathic suffering is a true experience of suffering.

Did you just call me old? I really prefer the word 'experienced'.

Somewhere I heard a victorious "Yes" in answer to my question of the existence of ultimate purpose.

There is no photograph more inherently photographic than another.