For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

The course of true love rarely runs smooth.

Famine and unemployment are the raw material for dictatorships.

You may be wondering why I went from over there to over here. Well, that was choreography.

To become a painter or a sculptor or a graphic designer is quite an isolated way to spend your life.

Let no more gods or exploiters be served Let us learn rather to love one another.

We're a bit flashy, but the music's not one big noise.

Many of the qualities that come so effortlessly to dogs - loyalty, devotion, selflessness, unflagging optimism, unqualified love - can be elusive to humans.

I hated the whole idea of being an actress. I used to throw up before every performance and cry afterward.

Yes, I think I am a genius, but not a rebel.

Jonathan is that brilliant little fire that burns within us all, that lives only for those moments when we reach perfection.