For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.

Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

Because we are the only women who are mothers of men." Gorgo: when asked by a woman from Attica why Spartan women were the only women in the world who could rule men.

And in the ocean I will fly to the bottomless pit of darkness

Digital imaging allows both groups to rise above the limitations of mess and clutter and mechanics, and apply our talents to creating images limited only by our imaginations.

I don't know what a world would be like if you do away with sexy images.

Your strengths develop your confidence; your weaknesses develop your faith.

But, I do think, on a very simplistic level, that we can project onto dogs because they are so innocent. They don't come with a lot of baggage.

Why should I not sit, every morning of my life, on the hillside, looking into the shining world?

Model. Two mobile eyes in a mobile head, itself on a mobile body.

Unselfishness is more paying, only people have not the patience to practice it.

The European Union's enlargement is part of the natural process of integration and globalisation that is underway in the world today.