For truth is always strange

Everything is funnier in retrospect, funnier and prettier and cooler. You can laugh at anything from far enough away.

A good story should make you laugh, and a moment later break your heart.

That's why I write, because life never works except in retrospect. You can't control life, at least you can control your version.

Family tragedies had a way of smashing everything apart and then gluing it all back together. The problem was no one ever knew how long the glue would hold.

The word 'happiness' always bothered me, partly because it was scientifically unwieldy and meant a lot of different things to different people, and also because it's subjective.

Nothing is more devastating to a community than out-of-control crime.

It's good to know where you've come from.

If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich.

Women like silent men. They think they're listening.

I wasn't writing the music. Ed would write a piece of music. I'd listen to it and come up with a melody and then we would arrange it. We'd put it together and I would write lyrics to my melodies.

Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome.

If you want customers to hear about you, make something worth talking about.

I don't want children. Why should I let some strange little monster into my life to destroy what to me is a perfect set-up?