Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery; nowadays it is called moonlighting.

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.

The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.

This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

I had some friends here from North Carolina who'd never seen a homer, so I gave them a couple.

You can't prove you're an American by waving Old Glory.

Discipline. Honour. Respect. This is why I appreciate MMA.

Mom worked with autistic children.

Human behavior is messy and unpredictable and unconcerned with convenient symmetries.

What I do is play soccer, which is what I like.

Become dust - and they will throw thee in the air; Become stone - and they will throw thee on glass.

I've always felt alone and isolated, and living on the West Coast, there's no poetry community out here, and if there is, it's really spread out - because it's LA, it's spread out.

Never wallow in your troubles; despair must be kept private and brief.

Compassion is the spontaneous wisdom of the heart.