France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are 'made in America.'

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

The career of flowers differs from ours only in inaudibleness. I feel more reverence as I grow for these mute creatures whose suspense or transport may surpass my own.

I never really look for anything. What God throws my way comes. I wake up in the morning and whichever way God turns my feet, I go.

You just have to be open and ready, and let it all happen.

Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.

They that know God will be humble. They that know themselves cannot be proud.

I do have people in mind when I write. I don't know precisely who they are, however, or how many of them there are.

The traits I respect are erudition and the courage to stand up when half-men are afraid for their reputation. Any idiot can be intelligent.

Praying, is recognizing yourself to be that which you desire to be, rather than begging God for that which you desire.

Oprah is more than an institution. Oprah is a very special star in the firmament. I can't imagine a greater success than she's enjoyed.

You know, I'm no different from a fireman. You got to run into a fire no matter how big the blaze is.