Freud said he didn't know what women wanted. I know what women want. They want a whole lot of people to talk to.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

I know all about insanity. It's not that bad once you beat up everyone who teases you about it.

You should never feel afraid to become a piece of art. It's exhilarating.

BOAT = Break Out Another Thousand

If your goal is purity of heart, be prepared to be thought very odd.

When you go to a Japense wedding, make sure that you tie the ribbon on the present tightly because if you don't, you may imply that you don't think the marriage will last.

There is not substantial data that AZT stops the transmission of HIV from mother to child. There is too much conflicting data to make concrete policy.

In art school, I started to see Pettibon in magazines, and I figured it out backward. I was into the idea that someone could show work in galleries while making album covers and photocopied books.

In this complex world, the scientific method, and the consequences of the scientific method are central to everything the human race is doing and to wherever we are going.

It was the first time I'd ever felt truly jealous of anyone else in my entire life.

Beating a legend is a very good feeling, but internally I was processing the realization that I could compete with anyone.