[Friendships] are easy to get out of compared to love affairs, but they are not easy to get out of compared to, say, jail.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

My favorite animal is steak.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

... And these childrenthat you spit onas they try to change their worldsare immune to your consultations.They're quite awareof what they're going through...

She's clearly gone too long without male companionship if any brute who walked her way made her sit up and take notice.

Break the character and independence of your man and you will have an obedient trooper.

The devil loves it when we say we believe then prioritize everything in our lives ahead of God.

I want the reader to feel something is astonishing. Not the 'what happens,' but the way everything happens. These long short story fictions do that best, for me.

Drugs have played no significant factor in my life.

As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something.

The US government is not going to be able to cover this up by jailing or murdering me. Truth is coming, and it cannot be stopped.

I won't be sad too often, If they bury me in the library With bookworms in my coffin.

But they are not going to take on Big Oil because Big Oil is very generous at campaign time, and this is all about the elections. They want to pretend that they are doing something meaningful.