Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

A choice made having devastating consequences for another is really not a choice. It is an act.

Never give up on something you really want. It's difficult to wait, but more difficult to regret.

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

A theology should be like poetry, which takes us to the end of what words and thoughts can do.

The great fear I've had to overcome is the fear of failure. You have to be willing to be afraid, if you're going to be an artist.

Once you sacrifice your rights, it's hard to get those rights protected again.

If you want everything to be nice and straight all the time, then go live in a world made with a triungular ruler.

In his own time and in his own way, the Lord will bring about his miracles.

The Internet is going to change marketing before it changes almost anything else, and old marketing will die in its path.

Beauty isn't about having a pretty face it's about having a pretty mind, a pretty heart, and a pretty soul.