From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

We are on a journey not to be perfect, but to be whole.

A preacher shouldn't preach just to make you feel good. Then it's about the money not about the teach. He should preach the truth because the truth shall set you free.

I'm convinced the question of development is mainly an issue of governance and leadership.

This whole [presidential] election is being rigged. These lies, spread by the media, without witnesses, without backup or anything else.

Mobilizing the love of life is the only force that can defeat the love for the dead.

If most of the breaks go to wealthy people it's because most of the people who pay taxes are wealthy.

Nonetheless, much has been learned by studying the statistical differences between the various human races.

If you view your life as a piece of fabric or a tapestry, the photography is the stitching. It keeps everything together.

Love's creed is separate from all religions.

Stars of heaven, clear and bright, Shine upon this Christmas light, Vaster far than midnight skies Are its timeless mysteries.