Funny is funny is funny.

Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there.

I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don't rush into adulthood, it isn't all that much fun.

I love portraying the totally indifferent person.

I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much.

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.

People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less defeated in times of travail.

It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves.

I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.

I still feel thirty, except when I try to run.

I haven't always been a patient man...but something tells me you'd be worth the wait.

Everyone has the same God; only people differ.

How to Overthrow the System: brew your own beer; kick in your Tee Vee; kill your own beef; build your own cabin and piss off the front porch whenever you bloody well feel like it.

I constantly try to humble myself; if you don't, I'm sure the game is going to find a way to humble you.

I was diagnosed with Graves' disease, an illness of the thyroid gland. Instead of surgery, I was given radiation treatment.

The attorney general should be enforcing the law, not policy.

Artists speak the truth to the public without fear of retribution or damage to their careers.

Fame sweeps you away. I had to go home every six months to remember who I am.

I think in a lot of ways, writing, when you're really in there, is like being an actress because you're in somebody else's head.

Faithfulness in the small things will lead to blessing in the big things.