GOOD, adj. Sensible, madam, to the worth of this present writer. Alive, sir, to the advantages of letting him alone.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

I am not proud that i know so much. I am humbled that there is so much to learn, and i haven't been able to understand the little i have been priviledged to know.

There aren't a lot of guys like me left. But I'm a war horse. I've been through it all. And you know something about war horses? Through the sleet, through the snow, they just keep going.

I forgive you," I said. I said what I had to. I would die by pieces to save myself from real death.

I do think I have an ability to record sensual and emotional facts and factoids, to construct a convincing surface of what life feels like, both physical life and emotional life.

I am pretty sarcastic and pretty dry.

Grant that I may experience the power of Thy Word before I deliver it.

Donald Trump said that if President Obama releases his birth certificate, Trump will release his tax return. Obama said he won't run for a second term if Trump releases that thing on his head.

I'm sure when I have a nostalgic, teary moment in 10 years time, I'll try to put the glasses when I was 10 on and cry to myself in front of the mirror

To benefit by others' killing and to delude oneself into the belief that one is being very religions and nonviolent is sheer self-deception.

If you aim higher than you expect, you could reach higher than you dreamed.