Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have left of our education.

The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person.

Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I've ever known.

Make me into anything, but just love me.

All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.

When we don't know who to hate, we hate ourselves.

We'll be remembered more for what we destroy than what we create.

People are all over the world telling their one dramatic story and how their life has turned into getting over this one event. Now their lives are more about the past than their future.

The only reason why we ask other people how their weekend was is so we can tell them about our own weekend.

You can only hold a smile for so long, after that it's just teeth.

Parents are like God because you wanna know they're out there, and you want them to think well of you, but you really only call when you need something.

Life is easy with a little offer and Competitive with facts.

Keep your eyes on the prize for you cant hit an unseen target but don't forget to pay the price

The ball of dark fur pressed itself into my chest, and I wished she was my kitten, and knew that she was not.

When you're buying a pair of TOMS, if you don't feel like you're part of a community, then I've failed.

[Gilda Radner] died in '89, and I got non-Hodgkin's lymphoma in 2000. I've just passed the five-year mark and I'm now what you call - well, it's called complete remission, but I'm cured. I'm fine.

In the minds of most men, the kingdom of opinion is divided into three territories,--the territory of yes, the territory of no, and a broad, unexplored middle ground of doubt.

I like to think of myself as the girl that no one can get, that no one can keep in their hand.

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.

The world, nature, human beings, do not move like machines. The edges are never clear-cut, but always frayed. Nature never draws a line without smudging it.

In life, we always fall for the person who will never fall for us, always want things we can't have, and say things we shouldn't.