Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Oh, for the years I have not lived, but only dreamed of living.

It is rarely in the world's history that its ideal has been one of joy and beauty. The worship of pain has far more often dominated the world.

I am extremely happy walking on the downs...I like to have space to spread my mind out in.

I definitely do like change. I don't know if my hairstyles reflect that, but I don't like the same old thing all the time.

I think I know what it's like to have a family that the outside world sees as peculiar or lacking.

You win the lasting laurels with your laughter.

We need to ask ourselves what are we here for and what have we worked so hard to be here for.

I have never gauged myself against anyone else.

By flying, men often rush into the midst of calamities.

I'm a decent sprinter and I can gun a motorcycle from zero to suicidal in less than ten seconds.