Generally it is our failures that civilize us. Triumph confirms us in our habits.

Whoever called snooker "chess with balls" was rude, but right.

Snooker is just chess with balls.

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

The British secret service was staffed at one point almost entirely by alcoholic homosexuals working for the KGB

A sceptic finds Dallas absurd. A cynic thinks the public doesn't

It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.

A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all.

Fiction is life with the dull bits left out.

Disco dancing is just the steady thump of a giant moron knocking in an endless nail.

They had a... dog called Bluey. A know psychopath, Bluey would attack himself if nothing else was available.

Happiness is the most tired word in any language.

Buying a book is not enough... You must absorb the knowledge it contains. Your personalized knowledge is not what's on your shelf, but how much you put into yourself!

Let's make progress justice a process, not an afterthought

The world is more than the sum of its suffering.

At the age of 12 my ambition was to become a gangster. To be a wiseguy. Being a wiseguy was better than being President of the United States. To be a wiseguy was to own the world.

But, outside of being a sweet little girl, she was awfully dumb and capable of doing horrible things.

I resist the idea that travel writing has got to be factual.

One hour with a child is like a ten-mile run.

Spontaneity and instincts are key factors to a memorable party.

By persistent hard work you will rise to success, but ultimately your accomplishments will be measured by how you treated your loved ones on the way up.