Genius is often called crazy, but crazy is never called genius. So you just have to put out the work and let the chips fall where they may.

I think pimp, therefore i am.

Aspirin is perfectly legal, but if you take 13 of them motherf***ers, it'll be your last headache.

A woman gets stretch marks from one of two things. Either she was big and got small or she was small and got big.

All comedy comes from a dark place.

Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it's ribbed for your pleasure.

My name is "A Pimp named Slickback" Wait... A Pimp?? ... Named Slickback. Yes, please say the whole thing if you would. Yes, that includs the "A Pimp Named" part. Yes Tom, everytime.

America is a bunch o' bullies. Tell me what the Iraq uniform is like. Don't worry, I'll wait.

The past is something for you to learn from and the future is something that you hope is going to happen, but I'm always speaking to my actual fans in present tense.

There's only winning and losing, and in our society, as in all societies, there's the person that's doing the winning, or there's the person that's facilitating the winning.

Hello?... No I'm sorry no Shaquita here. Well what number did you dial?.. No it's a nine not a seven... Well try it if it doest work call me back we'll figure this thing out.

Passion is finding something you’re unwilling to live without.

Your life isn't determined by your mistakes, but by your determination to keep going despite of them.

Life is full of chances and changes and the most prosperous of men may ... meet with great misfortunes.

Our prayers should be for blessings in general, for God knows best what is good for us.

You must capture and keep the heart of the original and supremely able man before his brain can do its best.

A turtleneck is about sophistication.

By being with that individual, we are somehow provided with an impetus to become whole ourselves.

I have no clear idea about this development, however, I have full faith in the government's peace talks committee. I suggest TTP choose its representatives from among its own leadership

At this point in my life, I'm not looking for any happy endings. I'm just looking to get things started.

I like thinking of the writer as a kind of curator; the collection as curiosity cabinet - in a non-demeaning, non-objectifying sense - but an array, a set of offerings.