Gentlemen, let's go row!

If a grasshopper tries to fight a lawnmower, one may admire his courage but not his judgement.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

You can sway a thousand men by appealing to their prejudices quicker than you can convince one man by logic.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

I never learned from a man who agreed with me.

A generation which ignores history has no past — and no future.

Don't ever become a pessimist... a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events.

May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.

The world requires me to re-write its wretched dialogue!

It is a destiny of a woman to suffer in silence.

I act delighted, but I have zero interest in these Capitol people. They are only distractions from the food.

You ever see a poptart do the moonwalk? Magic

The foolish wish to speak out what was spoken in secret by the master.

Americans think anything you do not get paid for is not worth doing. As a consequence, the things that don't get done are often the most worthwhile.

I feel the most alive when I'm singing. I also get to be the mail man for some of the most beautiful lyrics ever written.

Military tribunals to lock people up the way Lincoln did.

To be the object of somebody's obsession is a really awful feeling when you can't return it.

Sometimes the teacher would tell me that if you're singing a love song and you just don't feel it with a person or something you've experienced, just think of a dog or cat that you love.