Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.

You have to live before you die, or you'll die before you live.

There is no me. I do not exist. There used to be a me but I had it surgically removed.

If I can't really find a way to live with myself, I can't expect anyone else to live with me.

Some forms of reality are so horrible we refuse to face them, unless we are trapped into it by comedy. To label any subject unsuitable for comedy is to admit defeat.

It won't be easy, that is why I have always failed where others have succeeded.

I am here to fix the problem with yer pheaun.

Conversation like television set on honeymoon... unnecessary.

To label any subject unsuitable for comedy is to admit defeat.

Finally, in conclusion, let me say just this.

I'm a classic example of all humorists - only funny when I'm working.

Light is impressionism.

I wasn't trying to work out my own ancestry. I was trying to get people to feel slavery. I was trying to get across the kind of emotional and psychological stones that slavery threw at people.

You're awake, you're awesome. Live like it.

When we started the show, there were mixed responses. Half of the people said, 'That show doesn't have a chance.' The other half said, 'That show doesn't have a prayer.'

I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.

Good farming, clear thinking, right living.

Newspaper people have a habit of putting you in the front pages to sell their papers, and then after they've sold their papers and got big circulations, they say, 'Look at what we've done for you

If you're not a thorn in somebody's side, you aren't doing Christianity right.

There is no room for hypocrisy. Why use bitter soup for healing when sweet water is everywhere?

It helps me when I help people.