George Bush says, 'Gore's book needs a lot of explaining.' Of course, Bush says that about every book.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Do you have a clear written purpose of your life? If not, why don't you make it now?

Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

By the time I'm in the studio recording my parody, 10,000 parodies of that song are on YouTube.

I did have role models, but most of them were male.

You know this old style of American family series? Well, I sit there and cry.

[M]anufacturing, science and engineering are ... incredibly creative. I'd venture to say more so than creative advertising agencies and things that are known as the creative industries.

Genius flames and dies, but amiable competence can live forever.

The child does not begin to fall until she becomes seriously interested in walking, until she actually begins walking. Falling is thus more an indication of learning than a sign of failure.

You just went up and started playing, the audience got into it, and it was just a great high experience. That's what I kind of invented with "Mas Tequila" in Cabo.

Ponder the fact that God has made you a gardener, to root out vice and plant virtue.