George Hendrick simply lost that sun-blown pop-up.

The new Haitian baseball can't weigh more than four ounces or less than five.

Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing for the Padres!

Sometimes big trees grow out of acorns - I think I heard that from a squirrel.

Hats off to drug abusers everywhere.

Those amateur umpires are certainly flexing their fangs tonight.

He slides into second with a stand-up double.

And Kansas City is at Chicago tonight, or is it Chicago at Kansas City? Well, no matter as Kansas City leads in the eighth 4 to 4.

Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?

There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured by his number.

Ozzie Smith just made another play that I've never seen anyone else make before, and I've seen him make it more often than anyone else ever has.

Never judge a person until you've walked a mile in their busted up shoes and haven't had any money for medication for two weeks.

Mutual ignorance breeds mutual distrust.

I either write the book or sell the jewels. And I'm kinda sentimental about the jewels.

Lotsa people want to hurt me. That's the price you pay for being a big mouth.

The moral influence of woman over man is almost always salutary.

There is one way whereby we may secure our riches, and make sure friends to ourselves of them,--by laying them out in charity.

Lots of women love to accuse men of being immature when the fellow in question displays a reluctance to "commit"...

We live equally out of our bodies and out of our minds.

Oh, no. To live... to live would be an awfully big adventure.

Why should I downplay myself to make someone else more comfortable?