George W. Bush is so pro-Mexico that if you hit him with a stick prizes would fall out of him.

The most identifiable trait of Anglo-Saxons is that we always mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

The surest way to wake up and smell the roses every day is to go to sleep face down in the flower bed.

It's a new era at Disney. From now on, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs will be known as Person of No Color and the Seven Vertically Challenged Individuals.

Walter Mondale once said God has no place in American politics and it turned out that God felt the same way about Walter Mondale.

No wonder we keep testing positive in their bicycle races. Everyone looks like they're full of testosterone when they're surrounded by Frenchmen.

He called for military supremacy, no welfare and cultural rebirth. It was a nice speech, but it sounded a lot better in its original German.

Jesse Ventura took American politics and raised it to the level of professional wrestling.

They’ve taken their own precautions against Al Qaeda. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house.

If it turns out that Barry Bonds used steroids to bulk up and add muscle mass, he could get four to eight years as governor of California

New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani fired his wife, Donna Hanover, as official hostess of the mayor's mansion last weekend. He's got his own idea of what a hostess should be. He wants a little cupcake.

We are cold to others only when we are dull in ourselves.

Did the President order anyone to kill civilians, did he order the destruction, did he order supporting terrorism in his country? Of course not.

When you're playing it as a business... your livelihood depends on winning and losing and so some- times sportsmanship is lost, as in the process of billion dollar companies.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

He who says he hates all kinds of flattery, and says so in earnest, has undoubtedly not as yet become acquainted with all kinds of it, whether in substance or in form.

The writer of good will carries a lamp to illuminate the dark corners.

Don't make decisions too far in advance, particularly ones you're not even conscious you're making.

Truth breaks you down so it can rebuild you according to its specifications in Heaven.

I knew I wanted to work in Cinemascope because I find it much more beautiful just in terms of the shape of the screen, the wider image, and it's also less like television, which is important.

I was born in 1928 and by 1931 the Depression was beginning to mount.