George W. Bush says he spends sixty to ninety minutes a day working out. He says he works out because it clears his mind. Sometimes just a little too much.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

I wanted to meet the monster. Why go down if you can go up?

Martin Luther dreamed up Protestantism while sitting on the toilet at Wittenburg monastery, and we know what a big movement that became.

Your voice can change the world.

I ignore Hallmark Holidays. And this comes from a guy who has sold a million Opus greeting cards.

That dark humor has always been a part of what I've done. It's always been somewhat tongue-in-cheek.

We class schools into four grades: leading school, first-rate school, good school and school.

Even his griefs are a joy long after to one that remembers all that he wrought and endured.

Astrology is not an art, it is a disease.

Hysteria is a chaotic and irrational emotional state caused by seeing how the world really operates.

Absolutely pay off your credit card debt, because a child can always get a loan to go to school, possibly a scholarship, a grant.