Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

I thank God for an amazing life.

I don't know if my work is a concerted effort to make kids sad!

Spiritual life is contractual.

Sometimes, divine revelation simply means adjusting your brain to hear what your heart already knows." Angels and Demons p. 484

Accept the challenges so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory. Always do more than is required of you. If a man has done his best, what else is there?

That's what life is for, to find that joy in yourself.

Having a first child is like swallowing an intoxicating drink made of equal parts joy and terror, chased with a bucketful of transitions nobody ever tells you about.

If life were a novel, then dead would mark the end of the first chapter.

La vérité est sur une courbe dont notre ésprit suit éternellement l'asymptote. Truth is on a curve whose asymptote our spirit follows eternally.

Here is a rural fellow that will not be denied your Highness' presence: he brings you figs.