Germany was the cause of Hitler as much as Chicago is responsible for the Chicago Tribune.

All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.

There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day.

It comes from the likes of you! Take what you can get! Grab the chances as they come along! Act in hallways! Sing in doorways! Dance in cellars!

The two oldest professions in the world — ruined by amateurs.

All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

I'm tired of hearing it said that democracy doesn't work. Of course it doesn't work. We are supposed to work it.

Many of us spend half of our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.

At 83, George Bernard Shaw's mind was perhaps not quite as good as it used to be, but it was still better than anyone else's.

To all things clergic I am allergic.

A hick town is one where there is no place to go where you shouldn't go.

You don’t look like anyone special at all, ” I tell him. And I curse him. And I start a club to hate him. And I make a magic spell to get rid of him.

Most people don't know how underpaid and often ill-equipped urban fire departments are across North America.

There are really so many people trying to get control over you on a daily basis and steal your soul in some way, take a part of you...

We have too many poisons in our diets now, like sugar and caffeine.

He may be president, but he still comes home and swipes my socks.

My parents gave me that gift of "reading is a good thing." I mean my mother was afraid of everything. But she was never afraid that Judy is reading.

I couldn't put my finger on one reason why we broke up. It was time, and we were spreading out. They were spreading out more than I was. I would've stayed with the band.

... there’s also nothing noble about being fearless. How much do you wanna bet the last man standing in a battle is usually the biggest fool of all?” - Paul Hudson

There's a beauty of show business. It's the only business you can have a career in when you're dead.

A part of you has grown in me. And so you see, it's you and me together forever and never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart