Get away from my house. What do you want?

The Big Cactus... because if you come too close, you're gonna get stuck.

I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I'm the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I'm the good-quality dog meat. I'm the Alpo of the NBA.

They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn't always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning.

The stats win nothing. I'm still sexy. I'm still great.

You know, I'm very photogenic.

No one calls me out, I'm from LSU.

I put a lot into it, and when I am done playing, I plan on going undercover and then being the sheriff or chief of police somewhere, either Miami or Orlando, I don't know yet.

I'm not going to try to go out there and outdo him. I don't have to try to outdo him, I'm Shaq.

This summer is going to be a different summer for a lot of people. Everyone is going to take care of their own business and everyone is going to do what's best for them, including me.

I'm going back to the old Shaq. I was normal last year - I was an earthling last summer. I had to go back to my alien roots.

Just don't waste time trying to change what you can't.

Her brain said, he’s like a brother to you. Her body rejected that notion absolutely. Her heart was confused as hell.

It was as if a morning-glory had bloomed in her throat, and all that blue and small pollen ate into my heart, violent and religious

Who ever heard a theologian preface his creed, or a politician conclude his speech with an estimate of the probable error of his opinion?

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.

I do favor guest workers, H1B visas and student visas.

To please a child is a sweet and lovely thing that warms one's heart and brings its own reward.

Most extreme acts of anti-Semitism go beyond the acts of anti-Semitism by native Europeans.

No one can sing like June Carter so I just tried to sing my very best.

Change the rule and you will get a new number.