Getting older is a lot of fun. Right up there with chewing glass or putting your hand in a blender.

I was in Kashmir last weekend. Went to visit one of my sweaters.

A lot of alliteration from anxious anchors placed in powerful posts!

I'm not a big fan of the post-Armageddon stories, where Denzel Washington is walking around in a torn coat.

Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive?

Your spouse should be just attractive enough to turn you on. Anything more is trouble.

If you want to be a writer, just write. There's no magic to it.

I can't not put humor in a book.

When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up.

Relaxation is the absence of worry.

I've never been disappointed, because I've never given somebody I liked that much power.

Golf is not a matter of life or death. It is much more important than that.

Every city has to deal with the problem of cars and public transport.

For the son of man shall come in the glory of His Father, with His angels; and then shall He reward every man according to his works.

You can't control all the crazy stuff that happens to you. All you can control is the way you handle it.

With dates I like to cater a girl. We do whatever she likes. If she was open to what I wanted to do, it probably wouldn't be a dull date, because I am a jock.

I don't know what it must be like to be a writer in general, but to be a comedy writer, it's got to be something - it's a very special kind of talent.

I'm big into fishing, but I've never been much of a hunter. I never was really raised around it a whole lot, so I never got a chance to do it a whole lot.

Well, hello. My name is Lin. But if you're dyslexic, call me Nil.

I see but one rule: to be clear. If I am not clear, all my world crumbles to nothing.

We put forth a very strong number. It's always hard to know, it's impossible to know what numbers are out there.