Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.

If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.

The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.

If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.

I want YOU to be the one wanting me first. Pushing me first. Kissing me first. Don't be careful with me, " he said. "Because I won't be careful with you.

Peace never hurries. To rush or force is contradictory to the very essence of peace.

You can't expect the level of excitement of your audience to be greater than your own.

If anyone does not understand you, just go for consensus. If not, do not move further, the solution is, just abandon it.

The purpose of man's life...is to become an abject zombie who serves a purpose he does not know, for reasons he is not to question.

I play a position where you make mistakes. The only people that don't make them at a hockey game are the people watching.

If people take the trouble to cook, you should take the trouble to eat.

A road that does not lead to other roads always has to be retraced, unless the traveller chooses to rust at the end of it.

Did ole Hank really do it this way?

How well that human potential has been fulfilled over the years by people with a deep and abiding connection to Pennsylvania.