Gittin' talked about is one o' th' penalties for bein' purty.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

I had this teacher who kept telling me that if I was ever in a fair fight, someone had made a mistake, ” she said

Is this lifetime supposed to be only about duty?

I simply wanted a kiss. I was a freshman girl who had never been kissed. Never. But I liked the boy, he liked me, and I was going to kiss him. That's the story, the whole story, right there.

Don't sit back and watch other people live out your dreams

The truest expression of a people is in its dances and its music. Bodies never lie.

I don't wonder apostolic miracles have died. Apostolic living certainly has.

Our biggest cost is not power, or servers, or people. It's lack of utilization. It dominates all other costs.

In fact, I have never met anyone who didn't like Gargoyles.

I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.

Thousands of years ago only Christ could walk on the water. Today anybody can do it; you just step on the garbage.