Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

Any pain that human beings can create, human beings can transcend.

Mental health can be just as important as physical health - and major depression is one of the most commonly diagnosed mental illnesses.

Shoulder width is an absolute requirement for displaying the V taper that will make or break your physique.

Evolution thus is merely contingent on certain processes articulated by Darwin: variation and selection.

There are so many ways of earning a living and most of them are failures.

I was acting my way through the whole thing.

Five years from now, you’re the same person except for the people you’ve met and the books you’ve read.

Being dead's only a problem if you know you're dead, which you never do because you're dead!

Jesus didn’t care about the scandal. He cared about the scandalous.

I'll forever be a Longhorn.