Give an average baby a fair chance, and if it doesn't do something it oughtn't to a doctor should be called in at once.

It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

People who have tried it, tell me that a clear conscience makes you very happy and contented; but a full stomach does the business quite as well, and is cheaper, and more easily obtained.

A good woman's arms round a man's neck is a lifebelt thrown out to him from heaven.

Opportunities flit by while we sit regretting the chances we have lost, and the happiness that comes to us we heed not, because of the happiness that is gone.

Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.

They [dogs] never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation.

What I am looking for is a blessing not in disguise.

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

If there is one person I do despise more than another, it is the man who does not think exactly the same on all topics as I do.

For a child, no hand is stronger and softer than the hand which touches her lovingly!

acing the difficulty, there are 2 types of people:1 - Damn it!2 - Challenge accepted!

Material wealth alone is not enough to build a great nation.

There is a very good thing about hating evil. If you hate evil, that's all you will hate

Tommy Smothers is my longest mentor, and Dave Eggers is my youngest.

Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.

We cannot and will not ban the creation of violent video games. But, we can prevent the distribution of these disturbing games to children, where their effects can be negative

A spark is a little thing, yet it may kindle the world.

If you want to be deeply respected, deeply respect as many people as possible.

Cancer had a chance to break me down, but I was determined to fight back with strength and positivity.