Give anyone a lever long enough and they can change the world. It's unreliable levers that are the problem.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

This is Leo. I'm the... What's my title? Am I like, admiral, or captain, or...""Repair boy.""Very funny, Piper.

We all live with the objective of being happy our lives are all different and yet the same.

Life is like cooking your masterpiece recipe. You have to get the right ingredients,have the right mixture and the right cooking time to reveal the PERFECT and DELICIOUS TASTE of your craft.

You learn from the mistakes you make and from the mistakes other people make. The truth is, you don't learn from success; you learn from failure.

I thought my talent would transcend my outspokenness. I was wrong.

On winning Literature Nobel Prize: I was actually in the street. Yes, I was in the street. It was my daughter who notified me.

Philosophies fall away like sand, and creeds follow on another like the withered leaves of Autumn.

God is predictably unpredictable.

Universal suffrage is sound in principle. The radical element is right.

I was born in 1991, and Harry Potter came out in 97, so, you know, I was really obsessed. I used to read them in one night.