Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Well, laddie, if you've let an old buzzard like me hurt you confidence, you couldn't have had much in the first place.

By attuning your breathing, you can become one with the natural rhythm of life that flows through you all the time.

They pick a president and then for four years they pick on him.

I always gave it the best shot I had, whether it went my way or not that night.

I'm happy to have been a positive influence.

Everything we have is everything we love - it's basically like we picked for our homes and then just put it for sale in a store.

Wisdom is something that comes, little by little, through a lot of listening.

Driving a cab is not really a nurturing type of relationship. You take people and they tip you, they may not tip you, you don't know their names, they don't care about you, you don't care about them.

Pray for rain all you like, but dig a well as you do it.

The question I'm constantly asking myself is: what are we afraid of? I think it's important for us to follow that line of fear, because that is ultimately our line of growth.