Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

You said we all want there to be more than this! Well, there's always more than this. There's always something you don't know.

It’s important that young people know about the struggles we faced to get to the point we are today. Only then will they appreciate the hard-won freedom of blacks in this country.

The best coaches I've been around, even older guys, are continually learning new ways to do things and new ways to teach.

There are always door openings. And gradually, it accumulates. The opportunities open up in front of you.

But a dandy can never be a vulgar man

If you would be a reader, read; if a writer, write.

Everything in the world may be endured, except only a succession of prosperous days. [Ger., Alles in der Welt lasst sich ertragen, Nur nicht eine Reihe von schonen Tagen.]

I was okay with school. My sister Kourtney was extremely smart. I always read a little slower.

The greatest surprise of human evolution may be that the highest form of selfishness is selflessness.

Our self-acknowledgement, our dedication has to be bigger than our fear.