Go ahead and make up a ton of lies about me. That's way more interesting than pretending Wikipedia has any real information.

It's not that weird, but when I was in Peru, I ate a guinea pig. If you're going to eat guinea pig, you call it cuy. Cute word for such a cute little animal that I ate a few times.

Oftentimes the shows that don't work help you get it right.

Contrary to widespread belief, I do know something about science.

I like an otter. I like a sea lion. I like a walrus. That's my favorite version of a sea creature.

I'm sure there are people who say like, "I was wearing weird emo eyeliner," but there's something pretty embarrassing about the jazz phase.

I have what I guess is medically known as a farting problem.

Whether it's corporate investigations or comedy, there are certain inherent truths to trying to get what you want while trying to be a decent person doing it.

I was, like, a history major, and I minored in art and Spanish, but I found myself gravitating toward media studies as time went on.

Sometimes shows suffer from having many cooks in the kitchen.

I would be psyched to get a phone call from Al Sharpton. I need to find out who does his hair. It's beautiful. It's a gorgeous mane.

Of all the numerous forms that governments have taken over the centuries, of all the concepts and institutions that have been tried, none has succeeded in keeping the State in check.

Diplomacy is to do and say The nastiest thing in the nicest way.

Adults who think that children must be manipulated for their own good have developed the attitude of a controlling parent who lacks faith in himself, the child, or humanity or himself.

I said, to be a New Yorker you have to live here for six months, and if at the end of the six months you find you walk faster, talk faster, think faster, you're a New Yorker.

Words are leaves, the substance consists of deeds, which are the true fruits of a good tree.

The envious man thinks that if his neighbor breaks a leg, he will be able to walk better himself

There is a perfect someone, even if the road to that someone isn’t all that perfect.

Do what you love; you'll be better at it. It sounds pretty simple, but you'd be surprised how many people don't get this one right away.

Children are human beings to whom respect is due, superior to us by reason of their innocence and of the greater possibilities of their future.

I'd never met anyone so vibrant or alive. He moved like light.