Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Financial demands, of all the rough winds that blow upon our love, (are) quite the coldest and the most biting.

Crows pooping in your neighbor's roof is not good news

All good things which exist are the fruits of originality.

But I simply can't stand a view limited to this earth, I feel life is so small unless it has windows into other worlds...I like mathematics largely because it is not human.

The best remedy for a bruised heart is not, as so many people think, repose upon a manly bosom. Much more efficacious are honest work, physical activity, and the sudden acquisition of wealth.

God is a twelve year old boy with Asperger's.

If Cargo is a catalyst to spark policy, that would be great. The more we're able to use it as an educational tool, the more it's a building block in youths' minds and peoples' minds to enact policy.

Writing and directing your own film, for me, has been the best experience of my life.

The more you understand yourself, the more you will understand the world.

Sometimes, unfortunately, when we make choices there are consequences but, ultimately, the longer we keep things down and hold them secret, the longer the enemy can use them against us.