God in His wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

I didn't find out until I became a father. You don't just LOVE your children. You FALL in love with them.

What you are afraid to do is a clear indicator of the next thing you need to do.

The priests are debarred from female society, nor is any woman permitted to enter the religious houses.

Family are the people who must make you feel ashamed when you are deserving of shame.

Water and stone Flesh and bone Night and morn Rose and thorn Tree and wind Heart and mind

What's the quickest way to become a millionaire? Borrow fivers off everyone you meet.

You're authentic when you're honest.

Instead of trying to understand agriculture in its own terms, acknowledge that agriculture ultimately comes out of nature. Right now agriculture is the No. 1 threat to biodiversity on the planet.