God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Among all the creatures of creation, the gods favor us: We are the only ones who can empathize with their problems.

The well of your soul will not experience the drought until in front of her will appear the moment of eternity to drink from the water of death.

But I don't know how to fight. All I know how to do is stay alive.

I don't feel much pressure to fit in. I never have. I've always just wanted to do my thing. I have really good friends and good family, and if I don't fit in somewhere else, I fit in at home.

The digital artwork is characterized not by the technology which delivers it, but by the "passage" itself.

My uncle is from Argentina, so I grew up hearing Spanish. My Spanish isn't very good, but my pronunciation isn't terrible.

Did bin Laden act alone, through his own al-Qaida network, in launching the attacks? About that I'm far more certain and emphatic: no.

Museums are tombs, and it looks like everything is turning into a museum.

My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

It's always fun to do action and explosion, but I really enjoyed directing the emotion of the actors.