God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

If you are open to change and welcome surprise, you know the secret of creativity and the secret of life.

Be tough minded but tenderhearted.

I thought that if acting didn't work out, I'd have done law school or medical school: probably law to be honest.

Be prepared for truth at all hours and in the most fantastic disguises. This is the only safety.

One thing I have a tendency to do is not write choruses, or write choruses that have different words. The first chorus will have different words than the second chorus.

If you give yourself to your task at once, you won't have to do it twice.

Sport is about achievements. Art is to be touch and touch others in a personal level.

In nation after nation, democracy has taken the place of autocracy.

My parents were quite liberal with us, always encouraging us to be our own person and be creative.

I like the idea of baking. I'd like to be good at it. But I feel like I'm young and one day I can be.