God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?

What is man but an illusion perceiving itself in a nested hierarchy of holographic information.

Be careful not to mistake insecurity and inadequacy for humility! Humility has nothing to do with the insecure and inadequate! Just like arrogance has nothing to do with greatness!

These days, I spend more time thanking God for His daily blessings than I do asking Him for more. The spirit of gratitude is quite a great feeling.

Wisdom simplifies the things

Thales was asked what was most difficult to man he answered: "To know one's self."

Love is never defeated, and I could add, the history of Ireland proves it.

And I believe the nation that invented the automobile cannot walk away from it.

So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads.

The people you love are just weapons that will be used against you.