God's everywhere, but I gotta go down (to church) to see him? Really? And he's mad at me down there, and I owe you money?

To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.

Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?

Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.

Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking.

Surround yourself with positive people. Also, be a positive person. Root for people. Somebody else's success is not your failure.

My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.

Nothing worse than when a 6 acts like a 10.

I've never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It's always the little things that do me in.

Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.

Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.

Doctrines are meant to serve man, not the other way around.

Being scared can keep a man from getting killed and often makes a better fighter of him.

All philosophies are mental fabrications. There has never been a single doctrine by which one could enter the true essence of things.

Wealth is always attracted, never pursued.

Thanks to my work everything's going well; it's a great consolation.

Few people arise in the morning as hungry for God as they are for cornflakes or toast and eggs.

It is not on the pinnacle of success and ease where men and women grow most. It is often down in the valley of heartache and disappointment and reverses where men and women grow.

Bravery is not being afraid to be afraid.

Nature always looks out for the preservation of the universe.

I firmly believe in marriage. It's a real important decision that takes a lot of dedication and time. If you're thinking about divorce. You shouldn't get married.