Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

We cannot dim another person’s light without first extinguishing our own.

It is incredible how many hurts can be healed by the two words, 'I'm sorry.

The feeling of inferiority rules the mental life and can be clearly recognized as the sense of incompleteness and unfulfillment and in the uninterrupted struggle both of individuals and of humanity.

All things human change.

I want to share with you my belief in your power to change this country and this world.

Lips move; lips touch; lips signal. Lips are on the outside for show, and on the most secret inside of your mouth. Lips frame words that lie. Lips frame a hole that wants to be filled.

The power of light is always bigger than the power of darkness.

I write for anybody struggling to manage their money.

Being a small boy it's very daunting seeing the Queen around and not really quite knowing what to talk about.

I love the fact I grew up wanting a brother and now I have four.