Going to Catholic school was what fueled me into comedy. The nuns were so brutal so I used to try to make my friends laugh.

I hate being mean. I watch those roasts on Comedy Central and they make the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in the face of tragedy is kind of demented.

There was plenty of dysfunction in my family and I went to Catholic School with these psychotic nuns. I would always try to be funny to lighten the mood.

I think the obsession with wanting to change yourself is crazy over the top.

Be relentless and then you'll break through.

This whole generation of parents - I'm guilty of it too - does too much for their kids.

I don't just want to be successful I want to have fun.

I think I knew I was funny in Elementary School. I think most funny people realize it when they're young. It tends to come out of stress or trauma - something that makes you want to be funny.

I've known lots of people that are talented and nothing happens. It's not about talent, it's relentless drive.

I think comedians have a function in society, which is to make fun of our icons.

A mapping of discovery should be carried out

The point is there is no point in life! Live the Moment!

The intellect of the wise is like glass it admits the light of heaven and reflects it.

Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired.

...the counsels of the Divine Mind had some glimpse of truth when they said that men are born in order to suffer the penalty for sins committed in a former life.

If you can live the beauty of the misty mornings, you are the king, you are the queen!

Now that judges embrace forcibly starving someone to death, Congress should use its appropriation power to starve the judicial budget.

Even a dog distinguishes between being stumbled over and being kicked.

Hayek is amongst the top 2-3 of the all the people who ever influenced me.

So the only way we're going to improve fuel economy or appliance efficiency swiftly and to the maximum extent practicable is if the government requires it.