Going to war was the only unselfish thing I have ever done for humanity.

I have a face that is a cross between two pounds of halibut and an explosion in an old clothes closet.

Keep the circus going inside you, keep it going, don't take anything too seriously, it'll all work out in the end.

Watching too much TV can triple our hunger for more possessions, while reducing our personal contentment by about 5 percent for every hour a day we watch.

A philosopher once noted that people long for immortality but run out of things to do on a rainy afternoon.

Dreams don't have an expiration date.

Champagne offers a minimum of alcohol and a maximum of companionship.

Stardom is like making love in a hammock - a happy experience but one of uncertain duration.

Isn’t it fascinating to think that probably the only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings?

I've taken up the Bible again, somewhat in the spirit of W.C. Fields - looking for loopholes.

I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against.

A life without memory is no life at all

The contortions of the gargoyles were the only therapy we had.

Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events not of words. Trust movement.

I will tell you what Jeanne was like. She was like a piano in a country where everyone has had their hands cut off.

The goal is to make practice more difficult, physically/mentally, than anything your players will face during a game.

I've made three musical movies which is pretty good considering that not many are made but I was lucky in other ways. I came along when independent movies were starting to boom.

I think my daughter actually influences my style more than having boys. I tend to dress more masculine with pants or shorts or flat boots, and she makes me want to dress more stylish, more girly.

One must never judge the writer by the man; but one may fairly judge the man by the writer.

It is generally admitted that the most beautiful qualities of a color are in its transparent state, applied over a white ground with the light shining through the color.

Actually we did not have the feelings we said we had until we spoke them--at least I didn't; to phrase them was to invent them and own them.