Golden rule of life: never underestimate your rivals.

It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline.

Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out.

That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus.

Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall body strength.

He's about as predictable as a Wasp on speed.

Under that heart of stone beat muscles of pure flint.

When Alexander of Macedon was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer. [Eric] Bristow is only 27.

William Tell could take an apple off your head, [Phil] Taylor could take out a processed pea.

The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in, with a portion of chips... you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them.

Keith Deller's not just an underdog, he's an underpuppy!

Remember that your dominating thoughts attract, through a definite law of nature, by the shortest and most convenient route, their physical counterpart. Be careful what your thoughts dwell upon.

Before I go on stage, I pretend that everyone loves me.

I believe no one qualification is so likely to make a good writer, as the power of rejecting his own thoughts.

Porcupine, whom one must Handle, glove'd, May be Respected, but is never Loved.

The desire to be loved is really death when it comes to art.

Before you contradict an old man, my fair friend, you should endeavour to understand him.

I'm not scared of spiders at all. I'm the spider killer in the house.

There is A madman inside of you Who is always running for office

My father was killed by a German mine, while I lost other relatives in Allied bombing attacks.

What is a throne? A chair; ornamented but a poisonous chair!