Golf is the only opportunity that middle-aged WASPs have to dress up like a pimp.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

I know you have it in you, Guy, " Anne said suddenly at the end of a silence, "the capacity to be terribly happy.

Three powerful d’s of life Dream. Desire. Dare.

Multitudes speak of their first love

As rust corrupts iron, so envy corrupts man.

Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders.

It was kind of unique and great to have two films coming out within a week. It certainly was a different experience for me.

If you had told me when I was 18 that I wouldn't have made it until I was 29, I would have said, Forget it.

We continue to blame the poor for their own condition. They are lazy. We do not want to know that the poorest of the poor are toddlers under three years of age.

Workers are like lemons: When the rich have sucked out all the juice, they throw them in the garbage.

I believe the world is as we choose to view it. Simple as that. Our happiness is, in the end, up to us, and to no one else.