Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

I am never alone, my Soul guides me and my Guardian Angel protects me. That is teamwork at its best.

I'm always alone. Sad face emoticon.

When we make the choice to care, we set into motion a snowball effect that touches many people, most of whom we will never know about . . . never underestimate the importance of a kind act.

Nothing puts life into men like a dying Savior.

If you told me I was going to live to 240, I would take 10 years off and try and act. I don't have that kind of time, so I'd much rather stick to playing guitar.

The mind is still haunted with its old unconscious ways; it broods on lost authorities; and the yearning, the deep and hollowing yearning for divine volition and service is with us still.

Shame doesn't exist in the animal kingdom. It's a human conception.

On the sixth day God saw He couldn't do it all, so He created ENGINEERS

You can't get a dolphin. What are you gonna do, like, put it in your pool?

Every child should be taught that useful work is worship and that intelligent labor is the highest form of prayer.